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Meditation

Reflections on Tibetan Buddhist Meditation

The Practice of “Maitri” (Loving Kindness)

Introduction

The practice of “Maitri”, loving-kindness (“Meta” in Pali), is one of the main threads of the Bodhicitta (Noble Heart) teachings in Tibetan Buddhism. The practices aim to develop the capacity for love and the realization of our interconnectedness with others through meditation, visualization and active practices. The famous teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, translated “Maitri “as “unlimited friendliness”. When he realized the extent to which his students were self critical and disconnected from others, he focused the practice of Maitri on developing unlimited friendliness toward oneself as the first step?”

The practice of Maitri is associated with the first of the Bodhicitta aspiration prayers “May (name) enjoy happiness and the root of happiness”. We wish for a person, animal, group or situation to be “happy” based on the “root” of happiness, i.e. freedom from the three poisons: passion, aggression and ignorance. (sometimes described as attachment, aversion and delusion). In Buddhist teaching these three are said to be the main causes of suffering.

The Practice

As with learning anything learning new, we need to train in the practice of Maitri. We do this in stages, starting with what comes most easily to us. Traditionally a Maitri practice has seven stages: resting in calm abiding (shamatha) for some period and then beginning by sending loving kindness to ourselves, a beloved person, a person we could call “neutral, i.e we don’t know them well enough to have specific feelings toward them, a difficult person, all of the first four together, then we make it bigger in stages: everyone in our neighborhood, every one in our township, in our province in our country on the continent. So that eventually we are sending loving kindness to the whole planet, the galaxy etc. The final stage is that we dissolve the visualization altogether and just rest in open awareness,

The first and last stages are important. It is useful if the student has some history of basic meditation practice. called in this tradition, “Shamatha” calm abiding or open awareness practice. It is far easier to visualize and/or feel a person or group in front of us if we can first access some degree of stillness and focus with the mind. Nevertheless, if some one with little meditation experience is inspired to learn this practice, I say – go for it!

What follows is a step-by-step outline of a full basic Maitri practice (in this version of the practice, we start with a person or animal we already have warm feelings toward to help evoke the sense of easily sending loving kindness):

1. Let your breath slow way down, preferably doing “belly breathing” and let the exhalation be a bit longer than the inhalation.
2. When you feel steady and centered, think of a person or animal that you love(d) either in the present or the past. Many people find it easier to start with a beloved pet than a person as the relationship tends to be less complicated
3. Visualize or feel the beloved person or animal in front of you. (if you don’t easily visualize, no worries, simply feel that you are in their presence).
4. Repeat the aspiration phrase in the traditional form : “May (name) enjoy happiness and the root of happiness” or the simplified form : “May (name) be happy”
5. Visualize/feel that you are sending out the energy of loving kindness to this person animal. It may help to feel that you are sending it on the out breath. If you easily visualize you may wish to see this energy as a colour, maybe rose or gold coloured. If you are more kinaesthetic you could feel that you are sending actual warmth.
6. NOTE: It is important that you see/feel the person/animal in their fully healthy state. Do not visualize the person/animal as being sick or suffering even if that is the case at this time.
7. When you feel you are complete with this person, let the visualization or feeling of their presence go. Just rest with your breath for a few moments.
8. Sit comfortably with you spine erect. (see my blog “Take Your Seat” under the “Archives” tab at goldendevi.ca for more detailed instructions)

You can repeat these steps for the rest of the categories listed above: yourself, a person that you don’t know very well (feelings are neutral), a difficult person (it is advisable to start with some one who annoys you rather than some one who evokes very strong negative feelings) and then all of these together. Then as described you can make it bigger be visualizing/feeling that you are sending loving kindness to your city, your country or an area of conflict in the world etc.

In the beginning do the Maitri practice for only one or two categories at a time so that you can take time to feel into the practice. If you lose focus you can come back to your beloved person or animal, evoke the feeling toward them and go back to sending to your intended recipient(s).

Lastly, there is a version of this practice that can be spontaneously used “off the cushion”. Pema Chodron teaches a couple of these “street” Maitri practices. The first is that when you notice some one who appears to be suffering, simply repeat the aspiration phrase “May this person enjoy happiness” and visualize/feel that you are sending them the energy of happiness. This can all be done in a few moments. You might see a street person sleeping on the sidewalk and do this practice for them.

Another “off the cushion” practice Pema calls the “just like me “practice, She talks about doing it in an airport but you can do it anywhere you have a few minutes to stop and focus. You might see some a woman shopping with her children, Sha appears tired and frazzled. You can repeat in your mind “Just like me”, this person gets tired and gets impatient with her children”. The practice is intended to remind us of our connection with others. Many of us have the same experiences of suffering, great or small. Remembering that can help soften the barrier between “me and them”.

These may seem to be a lot of details to take in. I invite you to try one of the steps, the actual Maitri meditation or the “off the cushion” Maitri practices. I also invite you to join me in a Zoom class being offered in the near future. You will have the chance to learn, practice and share experiences with others. Most of us could use some more loving kindness in our lives and our world is in desperate need of it!